Today I start a fast. Ive been so busy, and should technically be writing a report right now, but I thought Id post todays progress and will be doing this everyday for as long as this fast lasts.I want to lose 7-10 pounds by the end of this month...Hmmm lets see how this goes lol. Anyone feel free to join me if you want =)
So today (it's 5:06pm)so far Ive had
Lots of water
Coffee Lil Milk(skimmed) X2 100 Kcals
Green Teas Think its about 2 Kcals or something like that
Consumed: 102 Kcals =)
Burned: 1236 Kcals =)
Hope alls well with everyone
A-J x
Remember...Everybody Has A Skinny Side...
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Monday, 11 January 2010
Back To Basics
Well I'm back at uni now and already i feel back on track. So far today I've consumed no solids and am tipsy after one drink lol.
I'm going out for the 1st time since being back tonight so alcohol is a necessity but of course I will be keeping it to a minimum since the calorie value can get rather high if you over do it.
Today I burned 626 Kcals just from walking AND... I will be dancing like crazy later, so I can afford a few Kcals.
Its not been too bad a day today, my loan came through, which means I will be joining the uni gym as of tomorrow. I actually can't swim at the moment, because it's sooooo cold, but as soon as the weather perks up I'll be switching my gym membership to swimming membership since I find it MUCH better exercises AND most of all it burns loads of Kcals AND speeds up your metabolism.
Theres not all that much else to report. Im still feeling horrendously fat, but I seem to be getting smaller, so perhaps its all in my head.
Anyways, its 7pm and I'm drunk already lol. Guess this is what happens when you drink on a very empty stomach. MAY just eat one slice of low Kcal, low fat, wholemeal bread before I go out to save myself having a terrible hangover in lectures tomorrow.
Hope all's well peoples
Take care
A-J x
REMEMBER...Everyone Has Skinny Side...
I'm going out for the 1st time since being back tonight so alcohol is a necessity but of course I will be keeping it to a minimum since the calorie value can get rather high if you over do it.
Today I burned 626 Kcals just from walking AND... I will be dancing like crazy later, so I can afford a few Kcals.
Its not been too bad a day today, my loan came through, which means I will be joining the uni gym as of tomorrow. I actually can't swim at the moment, because it's sooooo cold, but as soon as the weather perks up I'll be switching my gym membership to swimming membership since I find it MUCH better exercises AND most of all it burns loads of Kcals AND speeds up your metabolism.
Theres not all that much else to report. Im still feeling horrendously fat, but I seem to be getting smaller, so perhaps its all in my head.
Anyways, its 7pm and I'm drunk already lol. Guess this is what happens when you drink on a very empty stomach. MAY just eat one slice of low Kcal, low fat, wholemeal bread before I go out to save myself having a terrible hangover in lectures tomorrow.
Hope all's well peoples
Take care
A-J x
REMEMBER...Everyone Has Skinny Side...
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Back To Basics
Well as it's been a short while since I last updated properly, I will attempt to do so today as best I can.
From the way in which my calorific intake has increased these past few days, I feel some what unjustified in the fact that i can still easily button my jeans.In fact according to the dreaded scale, i have lost weight! Shocking I know, but then perhaps I have given my metabolism a much needed boost. Now tomorrow, since I am returning to the world of independence and education, I will be liquid fasting for 3 days or as long as I can go. Its still FAR to cold to go swimming unfortunately, although I extremely tempted to bare it and just go anyway. I am desperately in need of some proper exercise, and since my surgery wound is now almost fully healed, I could easily get away with a 30 minute swim. However, that'll have to wait until after my fast because my energy levels are going to drop dramatically for the duration.
I've been severely pre-menstrual and miserable as of late hence the reasoning behind the rather dramatic post I left a couple of days ago.I apologise for the nonsense, insomnia had wrapped me in its evil clutches and the dreaded hunger pains were griping away and I felt positively worthless. I'm much better now though. Trying to look forward.
So in this post, I will toast to:
1. Reaching my Ultimate Goal Weight this year
And...
2. Enjoying the last 8 months of teen hood. (since I'm finally 20 this year)
Hope all's well with anyone who reads this or comes across this =)
A-J x
Remember...Everyone Has A Skinny Side...
From the way in which my calorific intake has increased these past few days, I feel some what unjustified in the fact that i can still easily button my jeans.In fact according to the dreaded scale, i have lost weight! Shocking I know, but then perhaps I have given my metabolism a much needed boost. Now tomorrow, since I am returning to the world of independence and education, I will be liquid fasting for 3 days or as long as I can go. Its still FAR to cold to go swimming unfortunately, although I extremely tempted to bare it and just go anyway. I am desperately in need of some proper exercise, and since my surgery wound is now almost fully healed, I could easily get away with a 30 minute swim. However, that'll have to wait until after my fast because my energy levels are going to drop dramatically for the duration.
I've been severely pre-menstrual and miserable as of late hence the reasoning behind the rather dramatic post I left a couple of days ago.I apologise for the nonsense, insomnia had wrapped me in its evil clutches and the dreaded hunger pains were griping away and I felt positively worthless. I'm much better now though. Trying to look forward.
So in this post, I will toast to:
1. Reaching my Ultimate Goal Weight this year
And...
2. Enjoying the last 8 months of teen hood. (since I'm finally 20 this year)
Hope all's well with anyone who reads this or comes across this =)
A-J x
Remember...Everyone Has A Skinny Side...
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Man Oh Man...The last two day s have just been awful...
On Sunday I had the most fabulous cereal binge! 4 Cups of special K and cheerios! Like WTF... Not good. Plus we went to my god sister's for dinner. Although I cleverly pre-prepared and stuffed my pockets with tissues. The majority of the food on my plate went into those tissues and then down the toilet lol. I was fairly punished by Karma though, after my weekend pig-out, and now have a rather upset stomach. Wont go into details, but I'm sure you get my drift.
If only i had the courage to purge, I wouldn't have this problem. A phobia of vomiting is not the greatest phobia of them all.
Today, will be better... It has been better...I am fully determined, and plus my mums at work so she's not here to monitor my food intake. I have consumed 0Kcals in total and am just about to go for one of my long walks which will put me in the negative, calories wise.
Other than my lovely gluttonous weekend, all else is well. i still haven't been socialising, but that's nothing new. Good god, you wouldn't know that I was a 19 year old student in her prime by the way I go on. It's not that I don't want to go out and have fun. It's just that, I somehow can't bring myself to be all bubbly and sociable. I just want to wallow in self pity. Sad I know.
I've had my hair cut AGAIN, (swear I'm addicted to it) courtesy of my mother. Its a nice little pixie do. Very short. Much shorter than I ever thought I'd have the courage to go to, but I think short hair suits me more than long hair.
I can finally start my crunches again! Well by start I mean increase the measly number of 100 to 500, now that my surgery wound is less painful. I swear I know I've been saying this every time I write, so it probably seems like I'm not enjoying my tine at home, but I can't WAIT, to get back to uni and my own space.
I've had a great time at home, binge worthy but great, but I just can't wait to get back into swimming, fasting and restricting PROPERLY! Its just not possible to keep up with all the things I like to do alone, because I never get much time alone at home. Deep down I know my mum loves me and she's just concerned about me, same with my dad, but they can't seem to see that I'm under control, and I know what I'm doing. Just because they want to eat cakes and ice cream and all things sugar and fat, doesn't mean I want to.
One thing I am pleased about, is the fact that I've managed to keep away from pasta and all things cheesy (apart from cottage cheese) whilst I've been home...Thank Fuck. I can't bare to eat pasta. I'm positively convinced it's what's caused me to gain all this wait during recovery. I was eating that everyday. I mean I may have been in recovery, but my eating was still greatly disordered and like typical old me, I felt pasta and cheese were my SAFE foods. Safe food!! Ha. Sounds like the thoughts of a seriously disillusioned person to me.
Anyways, this post has been a full on rant, so I apologise to anyone who has been reading it. Hopefully you will have found It humorous to some degree. Or else you just think I'm insane. I'll accept that Lol...
Hope everyone else had a much better weekend than me
A-J x
REMEMBER:Everyone has a skinny side...
On Sunday I had the most fabulous cereal binge! 4 Cups of special K and cheerios! Like WTF... Not good. Plus we went to my god sister's for dinner. Although I cleverly pre-prepared and stuffed my pockets with tissues. The majority of the food on my plate went into those tissues and then down the toilet lol. I was fairly punished by Karma though, after my weekend pig-out, and now have a rather upset stomach. Wont go into details, but I'm sure you get my drift.
If only i had the courage to purge, I wouldn't have this problem. A phobia of vomiting is not the greatest phobia of them all.
Today, will be better... It has been better...I am fully determined, and plus my mums at work so she's not here to monitor my food intake. I have consumed 0Kcals in total and am just about to go for one of my long walks which will put me in the negative, calories wise.
Other than my lovely gluttonous weekend, all else is well. i still haven't been socialising, but that's nothing new. Good god, you wouldn't know that I was a 19 year old student in her prime by the way I go on. It's not that I don't want to go out and have fun. It's just that, I somehow can't bring myself to be all bubbly and sociable. I just want to wallow in self pity. Sad I know.
I've had my hair cut AGAIN, (swear I'm addicted to it) courtesy of my mother. Its a nice little pixie do. Very short. Much shorter than I ever thought I'd have the courage to go to, but I think short hair suits me more than long hair.
I can finally start my crunches again! Well by start I mean increase the measly number of 100 to 500, now that my surgery wound is less painful. I swear I know I've been saying this every time I write, so it probably seems like I'm not enjoying my tine at home, but I can't WAIT, to get back to uni and my own space.
I've had a great time at home, binge worthy but great, but I just can't wait to get back into swimming, fasting and restricting PROPERLY! Its just not possible to keep up with all the things I like to do alone, because I never get much time alone at home. Deep down I know my mum loves me and she's just concerned about me, same with my dad, but they can't seem to see that I'm under control, and I know what I'm doing. Just because they want to eat cakes and ice cream and all things sugar and fat, doesn't mean I want to.
One thing I am pleased about, is the fact that I've managed to keep away from pasta and all things cheesy (apart from cottage cheese) whilst I've been home...Thank Fuck. I can't bare to eat pasta. I'm positively convinced it's what's caused me to gain all this wait during recovery. I was eating that everyday. I mean I may have been in recovery, but my eating was still greatly disordered and like typical old me, I felt pasta and cheese were my SAFE foods. Safe food!! Ha. Sounds like the thoughts of a seriously disillusioned person to me.
Anyways, this post has been a full on rant, so I apologise to anyone who has been reading it. Hopefully you will have found It humorous to some degree. Or else you just think I'm insane. I'll accept that Lol...
Hope everyone else had a much better weekend than me
A-J x
REMEMBER:Everyone has a skinny side...
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Today I thought I'd post a little Thinspiration for myslef. It's not really been the best of days to be honest. My mum's been miserable with me which has in turn made me even MORE miserable than I was before. I think she has become accustomed to her own company, so now I just irritate her and get under her feet. There'e not even a smile when I get out of bed and come downstairs to say good morning. Oh well...I can think of one positive and that is that misery completely illiminates my appetite. Hence the reason why my stomach is in knots and I haven't consumed a grain of food as of yet (It's 17:48)
Today, I have spent the majority of the day cleaning and organising. My job was to take down the Christmas Tree (a job I'm sure everybody HATES) and clean the bathroom. I also put away some laundry and tidied both mine and mother dearest's room.
Yesterday's fast could have been better. My dad wanted to go to the cinema to see Avatar, but my desire to socialise has become increasingly low. He did however, manage to convince me and force feed a few handfulls of salted popcorn down my throat. It's not the worst thing to consume on a fast but you know...
The film on the other hand was EXCELLENT. I am very much looking forward to watching it again when it comes out on DVD. Disturbingly, I spent much of the beginning of the film staring enviously at the tiny, toned body of the main female character, who might I add is an alien lol. They are, in my defense, very human-like.
As I type, I'm watching come dine with me on channel 4. One of my favourite shows. If you've never seen it, it involves 4 or 5 people who cook for one another and host a dinner party at their house. Each contestant then gives the host a score out of ten. The host with the highest score, wins a £1000 prize. I must confess, I have sat down for a full day watching episode after torcherous episode watching each contestant prepare several mouth watering dishes.
Well I'm off to do something more constructive...Maybe I'll go for a walk.
Take Care
A-J x
REMEMBER...Everyone Has A Skinny Side...
Friday, 1 January 2010
Happy New Year!!
So the new year is here and it's time for an even newer A-J.
And...Just like last year I have made promises to myself that I probably wont keep. However, unlike last year, determination is surging through me like blood coursing through my veins. I have decided that this year, I WILL at my UGW by my birthday (August 16th). So that means I have a full 8 months to lose all the grossness I have left of my 2009 weight gain in yet another "Recovery". This relapse has been happening since October of last year and so far, I think its safe to say (Even though I haven't been able to weigh myself for the past month) that i have lost another 10 pounds since my last weigh in (November).
I can't bare to post my actual weight...But I'll Probably start once I get to, what I feel, is an acceptable sharing weight.
I'm still home for Christmas, so my mum has been watching me like a hawk and tuts disapprovingly every time I pick at the food on my plate or leave exactly half (that's my thing Lol). I do kinda have an excuse...since I had an operation on 22nd December (Just a hernia. Nothing serious) and the anaesthetic was a Major emetic and had left me feeling nauseous until about two days ago. I haven't had much appetite anyways.
Christmas day was probably the hardest, since I seriously started to break a sweat after calculating all the calories on my plate over and over and OVER again in my head. The subconscious would NOT shut up calling me all the usual fabulously true nicknames it has for me. Examples: Fat Bitch, Weak, Obese, Lazy etc. I'll leave the rest to the imagination.
Anyway...I ended up eating my veg, picking at the whitest cuts of chicken and leaving the rest. Now I'm sure that you can imagine the expression on my dear mother's face. God I can't wait to go back to uni. I can have better control there.
Yesterday... I allowed myself to have a major binge coming in at a horrifying 1200Kcals. The only way in which I can justify this weakness is that I wanted to give my metabolism a major kick start for the new year since I have spent the past 3 months eating approximately 500 Kcals a day.
Today... Its time for a good old fashioned fast. It's only going to be a 24 hour one, to cleanse my system of yesterdays DISGUSTING binge! The only sustenance that I will be consuming today:
One morning cup of tea with sugar and soya milk (have to give myself a morning sugar boost and mum doesn't like sweetener), Green Tea and Water, Water WATER! Iced preferably. I'm going to try to manage some crunches today, though I'm still sore from the surgery. I'll also go for a walk in an attempt to singe some of yesterdays binge away.
I saw this really good quote today:
If Everything Seems Under Control, You're Just Not Going Fast Enough"
Well think that's a good note to leave on.
Until next time
A-J x
REMEMBER: Everyone has a skinny side...
And...Just like last year I have made promises to myself that I probably wont keep. However, unlike last year, determination is surging through me like blood coursing through my veins. I have decided that this year, I WILL at my UGW by my birthday (August 16th). So that means I have a full 8 months to lose all the grossness I have left of my 2009 weight gain in yet another "Recovery". This relapse has been happening since October of last year and so far, I think its safe to say (Even though I haven't been able to weigh myself for the past month) that i have lost another 10 pounds since my last weigh in (November).
I can't bare to post my actual weight...But I'll Probably start once I get to, what I feel, is an acceptable sharing weight.
I'm still home for Christmas, so my mum has been watching me like a hawk and tuts disapprovingly every time I pick at the food on my plate or leave exactly half (that's my thing Lol). I do kinda have an excuse...since I had an operation on 22nd December (Just a hernia. Nothing serious) and the anaesthetic was a Major emetic and had left me feeling nauseous until about two days ago. I haven't had much appetite anyways.
Christmas day was probably the hardest, since I seriously started to break a sweat after calculating all the calories on my plate over and over and OVER again in my head. The subconscious would NOT shut up calling me all the usual fabulously true nicknames it has for me. Examples: Fat Bitch, Weak, Obese, Lazy etc. I'll leave the rest to the imagination.
Anyway...I ended up eating my veg, picking at the whitest cuts of chicken and leaving the rest. Now I'm sure that you can imagine the expression on my dear mother's face. God I can't wait to go back to uni. I can have better control there.
Yesterday... I allowed myself to have a major binge coming in at a horrifying 1200Kcals. The only way in which I can justify this weakness is that I wanted to give my metabolism a major kick start for the new year since I have spent the past 3 months eating approximately 500 Kcals a day.
Today... Its time for a good old fashioned fast. It's only going to be a 24 hour one, to cleanse my system of yesterdays DISGUSTING binge! The only sustenance that I will be consuming today:
One morning cup of tea with sugar and soya milk (have to give myself a morning sugar boost and mum doesn't like sweetener), Green Tea and Water, Water WATER! Iced preferably. I'm going to try to manage some crunches today, though I'm still sore from the surgery. I'll also go for a walk in an attempt to singe some of yesterdays binge away.
I saw this really good quote today:
If Everything Seems Under Control, You're Just Not Going Fast Enough"
Well think that's a good note to leave on.
Until next time
A-J x
REMEMBER: Everyone has a skinny side...
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