Happy New Year!!

So the new year is here and it's time for an even newer A-J.

And...Just like last year I have made promises to myself that I probably wont keep. However, unlike last year, determination is surging through me like blood coursing through my veins. I have decided that this year, I WILL at my UGW by my birthday (August 16th). So that means I have a full 8 months to lose all the grossness I have left of my 2009 weight gain in yet another "Recovery". This relapse has been happening since October of last year and so far, I think its safe to say (Even though I haven't been able to weigh myself for the past month) that i have lost another 10 pounds since my last weigh in (November).

I can't bare to post my actual weight...But I'll Probably start once I get to, what I feel, is an acceptable sharing weight.

I'm still home for Christmas, so my mum has been watching me like a hawk and tuts disapprovingly every time I pick at the food on my plate or leave exactly half (that's my thing Lol). I do kinda have an excuse...since I had an operation on 22nd December (Just a hernia. Nothing serious) and the anaesthetic was a Major emetic and had left me feeling nauseous until about two days ago. I haven't had much appetite anyways.

Christmas day was probably the hardest, since I seriously started to break a sweat after calculating all the calories on my plate over and over and OVER again in my head. The subconscious would NOT shut up calling me all the usual fabulously true nicknames it has for me. Examples: Fat Bitch, Weak, Obese, Lazy etc. I'll leave the rest to the imagination.

Anyway...I ended up eating my veg, picking at the whitest cuts of chicken and leaving the rest. Now I'm sure that you can imagine the expression on my dear mother's face. God I can't wait to go back to uni. I can have better control there.

Yesterday... I allowed myself to have a major binge coming in at a horrifying 1200Kcals. The only way in which I can justify this weakness is that I wanted to give my metabolism a major kick start for the new year since I have spent the past 3 months eating approximately 500 Kcals a day.

Today... Its time for a good old fashioned fast. It's only going to be a 24 hour one, to cleanse my system of yesterdays DISGUSTING binge! The only sustenance that I will be consuming today:
One morning cup of tea with sugar and soya milk (have to give myself a morning sugar boost and mum doesn't like sweetener), Green Tea and Water, Water WATER! Iced preferably. I'm going to try to manage some crunches today, though I'm still sore from the surgery. I'll also go for a walk in an attempt to singe some of yesterdays binge away.

I saw this really good quote today:
If Everything Seems Under Control, You're Just Not Going Fast Enough"

Well think that's a good note to leave on.

Until next time

A-J x

REMEMBER: Everyone has a skinny side...